HAUMAI(EGO)

LEKH 9
HAUMAI

All the world religions believe in the ONE GOD. Gurbani begins with the ‘1’ which symbolises the unity of the Infinite Creator. Together with this ‘1’ the word Oangkaar symbolises the extension and the expansion of the creator. This divine extension is referred to in Gurbani as follows -

1.1 Searching, searching, searching, and finally, success!
By Guru’s Grace, the essence of all reality is understood.
Wherever I look, there I see Him, at the root of all things.
Nanak, He is the subtle, and He is also the manifest. 281M5L14

1.2 The Creator Lord and Master is pervading the water, the land, and the sky.
In so many ways, the One, the Universal Creator has diffused Himself, O
Nanak.
296M5L10

1.3 Here and there, in each and every heart, and each and every being, You, O Fascinating Lord, You exist. You are the Creator, the Cause of causes, the Support of the earth; You are the One and only, Beauteous Lord. 407M5L2

1.4 The Dear Lord abides in each and every heart; the Saints proclaim this as true. 1426M9L2

1.5 Waheguru, from the formless created the form and placed within it air, water and energy.
Then He left the earth in space and created the illumination of the moon and
the sun.
He then created the 1,400,000 life forms from the 4 sources of creation.
And within each and every life form numerous living beings emerged.
VBG4/1

If the Infinite Creator is operating in the heart of every living being according to His own ‘law’ then this ego of ours -

1. What is it?

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2. Where does it come from?
3. How does its influence operate?

4. How has it ignited such ‘confusion’?
5. How has it reduced the world into the raging fire of the ‘ocean of grief’?

6. How has it brought the world into its control?

7. How does it deliver us to the ‘couriers of death’?
8. How can we escape from it?

9. How can this ‘hawmai’ be ‘killed’?
10. How can we distance ourselves from its doubt ridden darkness?

There is dire need to hold an in-depth discussion on these matters.

An attempt is being made here to unravel these hidden mysteries in the light of Gurbani.

The awareness of our own existence, the need to satisfy the me-mine of the self, and a show off attitude or egoistic consciousness is called ‘hawmai’ or ego.

Since the beginning, Waheguru has placed this flourishing ego into man. It is because of this ego that an experiences the individuality of me-mine.

2.1 The Primal Lord, the Architect of Destiny, formed your form; He also burdened you with egotism.
He alone is born and dies; He alone comes and goes. 999M5L16

2.2 This ego exists by the Lord’s Order; people wander according to their past actions. 466M2L14

2.3 In egotism, the world was formed, O man; forgetting the Naam, it suffers and dies. 946M1L2

2.4 Injecting the poison of egotism, the world was created; with the Shabad enshrined within, the poison is eliminated. 1009M1L18

2.5 Out of egotism and attachment, the Universe welled up. 1057M3L17

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If we honestly go within to research and investigate, we will come to realise that every fact of our life is under the influence and control of the ego.

The Infinite Waheguru in His ‘Joy” and through His ‘command’ created the universe and within every particle placed His ‘Light’ and set up the divine drama. To run this ‘enormous drama-play’ by means of unerring and unceasing ‘rules’ He instituted the ‘LAW’.

3.1 By His Command, bodies are created; His Command cannot be
described.
By His Command, souls come into being; by His Command, glory and greatness are obtained.
By His Command, some are high and some are low; by His Written Command, pain and pleasure are obtained.
Some, by His Command, are blessed and forgiven; others, by His Command, wander aimlessly forever.
Everyone is subject to His Command; no one is beyond His Command.
Nanak, one who understands His Command, does not speak in ego.
1M1L9

In a drama, different characters play different parts and on the stage their every move, presentation, word is tied up to the rules according to some plan or scheme of the producer. On the stage one is a king, a queen, a servant, a lord, a beggar - each impersonating the varied roles and playing the part assigned to them. Everyone knows that he or she is not the real king, queen, a servant etc, but on the transient stage, they have come to perform the part assigned to them but in reality they are the ‘servants’ of their ‘producer.’ They know that they are not free and cannot do as they please. But if anyone character ignores or renegades on his ‘producer’ and does what he pleases on the stage, then the whole drama is disrupted and he has to face the ‘sentence’ or consequences.

Exactly in the same way the ‘producer’ of this creation -Waheguru- through His ‘command’ has set up this worldly cosmic drama in which we beings are playing our own individual roles.

As long as we play our role according to the Will of the Infinite Waheguru’s Divine Scheme or ‘law’ until then the Divine Drama
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will continue to run without any interruption and the performers receive praise. But when the beings forget their ‘Producer’ the Infinite Waheguru, then in the ignorance of worldly attachments caused or brought about by ‘ego’, they themselves assume that they are the ‘producers’ and the ‘directors’ and continue to act as they please. As a result of this the prodigal being remains divorced from the Divine Blessings and caught up in the action-reaction of the worldly law- ‘I receive what I sow’ - he faces pain and pleasure.

4.1 O my mind, walk in harmony with the True Guru.
Dwell within the home of your own inner being, and drink in the Ambrosial
Nectar; you shall attain the Peace of the Mansion of His Presence. 37M3L2

4.2 One who walks according to his own will, O Siblings of Destiny, suffers separation from the Lord, and shall be punished. 601M3L18

The electric current is generated by the power house. This current provides light to every bulb. There is a very fine filament within the bulb through which the electric current manifests itself into light. Around this is a glass cover which can assume numerous colours and shapes. When the current flows within it, it lights up or comes to life, otherwise it goes off or is ‘dead’. The bulb receives the light from the current and the current comes from the power house. The bulb by itself has no ‘existence (or use). Its existence depends on the current.

If the bulb forgets the source of its ‘life-line’ or renegades and declares its own separate existence - this is falsehood, it is hypocrisy. The ego that assumes a separate existence is false. The real existence or power house is the Infinite Waheguru and the current produced by Him or’ Naam” is the ‘life-line’ of the bulb like being.

Exactly in the same way the Infinite Waheguru has only one form from which the ‘life current’ manifests itself in every being. But in the ignorance of doubt ridden fallacy of worldliness, man has this misconception that he is a separate existence by himself, that he is perfect and is the cause and source of everything that happens. This is why in every ‘facet,’ the ‘me-mine’ ( ego ) continues to manifest itself every time.

In this way man, because of this doubt -ridden fallacy, in his ego, he become a rival to the Infinite Waheguru and thus

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guilty of impersonification (pretending to be one when it is not). Within this ego state whatever man does, all is false. Gurbani has elaborated as follows -
5.1 In ego they come, and in ego they go.
5.2 In ego they are born, and in ego they die.
5.3 In ego they give, and in ego they take.
5.4 In ego they earn, and in ego they lose.
5.5 In ego they become truthful or false.
5.6 In egotism they ponder on evil and good
5.7 In ego they go to heaven or hell
5.8 In ego they laugh, and in ego they weep.
5.9 In ego they become dirty, and in ego they are washed clean.
5.10 In ego they lose social status and class.
5.11 In ego they are ignorant, and in ego they are wise.
5.12 They do not know the value of salvation and liberation.
5.13 In ego they love Maya, and in ego they are kept in darkness by it.
5.14 Living in ego, mortal beings are created.
5.15 When one understands ego, then the Lord’s gate is known.
5.16 Without spiritual wisdom, they babble and argue.
5.17 O Nanak, by the Lord’s Command, destiny is recorded. As the Lord sees us, so are we seen. 466M1L9

Without the manifestation of the ‘light’, Gurbani has this to say about the ignorance of worldliness and doubt ridden fallacy or ‘ego’-

5.1 O mind, why are you so puffed up with egotism?
5.2 Whatever is seen in this foul, impure and filthy world, is only ashes. Pause Remember the One who created you, O mortal; He is the Support of your soul, and the breath of life.
5.3 One who forsakes Him, and attaches himself to another, dies to be reborn; he is such an ignorant fool!
5.4 I am blind, mute, crippled and totally lacking in understanding; O God, Preserver of all, please preserve me!
5.5 The Creator, the Cause of causes is all-powerful; O Nanak, how helpless are His beings! 530M5L8

Darkness has no existence of its own. It is the non existence of light or its absence.
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In the same way worldliness has no existence of its own. It is the doubt ridden state of its ‘non existence’ or the absence of the Divine Light.

When the shadow of the doubt ridden worldliness falls on our ‘light of the soul’ and surrounds it, then our mind feels that ‘I am’ a separate existence and this ‘love of another’- the separate existence or ‘me-mineness’ is what is called ‘hawmai’ or ‘egotism’. The manifestation of this state happens through the ‘me-mineness’.

Just as darkness and light are totally the opposites of each other, in the same way Divine light and the darkness of worldliness or doubt are the complete opposites of each other and at any one time both cannot be present.

In other words when there is faith and belief in the presence of Wahiguru within our intuitive self, then the doubt fallacies or worldliness or egotism just disappear.

Completelely opposed to this, when the shadow of doubt ridden fallacy of worldliness falls on our mind, then our mind becomes polluted and we divorce ourselves from the light of divine manifestation

6.1 Egotism is opposed to the Name of the Lord; the two do not dwell in the same place. 560M3L10

6.2 The wall of egotism and pride separates us, but I can hear Him nearby.
There is a veil between us, like the wings of a butterfly; without
being able to see Him, He seems so far away. 624M5L9

6.3 When I am in my ego, then You are not with me. Now that You are with me, there is no egotism within me. 657Bh. RavdasL14

The cover of doubt ridden fallacy,
The realisation of ‘me-mineness’
The illusion of separate existence,
The attachment to worldly life,

is in fact called ‘hawmai’ -egotism.

Passing through numerous forms of life, the practice of ‘egotism’ and ‘me-miness’ has become firmly fixed into our consciousness. Within the 8,400,000 forms


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of life, we were ignorant of the sentiments of egotism. But in the human life form, Wahiguru has blessed us with intellect and from time to time we have been receiving spiritual guidance from sants, bhagats, avtars, gurus and their writings beseeching ‘O man, you are part of the light’ make an effort to recognise your spiritual heritage.

7.1 O my mind, you are the embodiment of the Divine Light — recognize your own origin. O my mind, the Dear Lord is with you; through the Guru’s Teachings, enjoy His Love. 441M3L2

Over numerous rebirths we have focused so much on the polluted egotism that the egotism has penetrated, permeated and diffused into the deep recesses of our body, mind and the subconscious and by itself, without our knowledge it naturally continues to surface in the me-mine state into every facet of our life.

In this way over numerous births we have imprisoned ourselves in a tiny solitary cell of egotism and in the quagmire of worldly attachments we are simply wasting away our precious life in false occupations and temptations.

We have brought upon ourselves egotism’s sentence of solitary confinement and over numerous rebirths we continue to live a life of pain in the imprisonment of this solitary confinement.

7.2 The world is polluted with the filth of egotism, suffering in pain. This filth sticks to them because of their love of duality. 39M3L6

7.3 When this mind is filled with pride, then it wanders around like a madman and a lunatic. But when it becomes the dust of all, then it recognizes the Lord in each and every heart. ………
When he clings to ‘my own, my own’, then he is in deep trouble. 235M5L12

7.4 . In egotism, the soul is in bondage, and the Naam does not come to abide in the mind. 560M3L15

The gurus, prophets and evolved souls have from time to time given us knowledge about ‘egotism’ through their life-style and writings and have shown us an easy way to free ourselves from this imprisonment. To propagate these supreme and precious messages, numerous religious places have been set up and through multitude of ways discourses are held on these messages.

In spite of all this, to escape or be free from the self inflicted egotism’s pain and imprisonment of false worldliness, we





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have not given it any thought,
have no desire for it,

have no need for it
have no time for lit,

have no joy in doing so,
have made no effort for it,

have no will for doing it.

The doubt riddled fallacy of egotism has diffused into our mind, intellect and the subconscious and so completely is it intertwined and assimilated into our lives that we have become an embodiment of egotism.

Within the ‘haze of egotism’ apart from our tiny ‘solitary cell of confinement’ of worldliness, we are unable to see, feel or discover anything else. We have become the bonded slaves and ‘puppets’ of egotism and day and night dance under the direction and ‘beat’ of the five elements of worldliness -lust, anger, greed, attachment and egotism thus wasting away our precious life.

8.1 Egotism is within all bodies; through egotism, we come to be born.
Egotism is utter darkness; in egotism, no one can understand anything.
In egotism, devotional worship cannot be performed, and the Hukam of the Lord’s Command cannot be understood.
In egotism, the soul is in bondage, and the Naam does not come to abide in the mind. 560M3L12

Although egotism has no substance- being only a doubt ridden fallacy of the mind - but within our life and the whole creation it has brought about

the pride of ‘I’
the individuality of ‘mine’

the trap of attachment
selfishness

cheating
deceit
snatching

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pillage
lust

anger
greed

falsehood
envy-duality

jealousy
cruelty

tyranny
fights

misunderstandings etc.

and brought about the practice of numerous base tendencies and disorder. For this reason the effect of peace or divine virtues is very seldom witnessed.

9.1 Modesty and righteousness both have vanished, and falsehood struts around like a leader, O Lalo. 722M1L16

What a surprising and ludicrous thing it is that in spite of the presence of so much
educational advancement

scientific research

micro philosophies

abundance of religious propagation

superabundance of rites and rituals

& sharp intelligence

we are unable to

ponder

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understand

be aware of

recognise

the doubt fallacy illusion of the ‘polluted ego’ and its deceitfulness.

By accepting the ‘false ego’ to be the ‘truth’ over these numerous births, we have become its ‘bonded slaves’. Even now we are one, and feel that therein lies our honour. We feel that our honour and well being lies in trying to outdo each other in the projection of ‘ego’, although in the subjugation of this ego countless suffering, anguish, anxiety, disease, blows from the yamas (couriers of death) and hell has to be borne.

10.1 In egotism, the world is dead; it dies and dies, again and again. 555M3L17

10.2 Egotism is utter darkness; in egotism, no one can understand anything.
560M313

10.3 Ego is a chronic disease, but it contains its own cure as well. 466M2L14

It’s not only we who experience hell through the chronic disease of egotism, but out of our ignorance we are spreading the stench of base or low tendencies of the mind into the whole world by way of our thoughts and actions. In this way, on the whole, we are infecting the whole world with the grievances that emerges from the ego and thereby polluting the beautiful, peaceful and pure creation of God.

The astonishing thing is that in spite of reading and listening to mass of information on egotism, we are not prepared to come out of the doubt ridden fallacy of the illusory (or false) world. This is so because, over numerous rebirths we have been meditating (or focusing upon) the false ego thus becoming an embodiment of ego itself.

The truth is that egotism has become an inseparable part of our life or our very life form itself; to such an extent that we have even coloured the religious teachings started by the gurus and avtars with our egotism and are using the religions for furthering our own worldly ends or to inflate our own ego.



L9.10

When our religion is tempered with by egotism in this way, then we are infected with religious fanaticism and in the name of religion we give rise to untold hatred, jealousy, duality, fights, quarrels, cruelty and tyranny.

In the blind frenzy of this ‘religious fanaticism or insanity’, gurus, prophets, holy souls and innocent people have been exposed to unspeakable and unbearable tortures and even today this is taking place.

In the blind frenzy of this ‘religious fanaticism’, in the name of religion we are unknowingly demonstrating our

disrespect

condemnation

apostasy

faithlessness

disparagement


of religions.

The effect of our blind ‘religious frenzy’ on the general public is extremely bad, harmful and has far reaching consequences, which give rise to many forms of doubts about the ‘existence of God’ and (the need for) religion. The truth is that man’s current indifference, apostasy, faithlessness, scepticism towards religion, to a large extent, is caused by the ego ridden ‘religious fanaticism’.

Its living proof is the history of the past era and the communal riots of today.

When we don the religious cloak of egotism and give rise to anger, hatred, jealousy, duality, fights, quarrels, cruelty and torture in the name of religion, that state is called ‘religious fanaticism’.

In the state of blind ‘religious frenzy’ our intellect gets defiled and the ability to discern and discriminate between - good and bad, truth and falsehood, virtue and vice, divine attributes and satanic evil - does not remain.


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In total contrast to this, every religion beacons us towards

mercy
forgiveness
brotherhood
love
service

and similar virtues.

Between
the manifestation of the divine virtues of religion

and

the manifestation of the ego ridden religious bigotry

there is a world of a difference and the results generated by these two states are totally opposed to each other.

12.1 He calls the counterfeit genuine, and does not know the value of the
genuine. The blind man is known as an appraiser; this Dark Age of Kali
Yuga is so strange!
The sleeper is said to be awake, and those who are awake are like sleepers.
The living are said to be dead, and no one mourns for those who have died.
One who is coming is said to be going, and one who is gone is said to have
come.
That which belongs to others, he calls his own, but he has no liking for that
which is his.
That which is sweet is said to be bitter, and the bitter is said to be sweet.
One who is imbued with the Lord’s Love is slandered — his is what I have seen
in this Dark Age of Kali Yuga. 229M1L4

The absence of light is called darkness.
The absence of intuitive knowledge is called ‘maya’ or worldliness.
From the haze of ego ridden fallacy of worldliness, egotism emerges.
Where egotism prevails, divine faith cannot exist.
Just like ‘light’ and ‘darkness’ are the complete opposites of each other,

in the same way the presence of egotism and divine filled belief and faith are the complete opposites of each other.
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The Infinite Wahiguru’s Being is ‘True’ and ETERNAL.

Haumai or egotism has no form or being whatsoever. This is only the doubt ridden fallacy of the mind.

In other words, worldliness that is now rooted in ignorance, under the intoxication of the opium of egotism, has over numerous rebirths our being to ‘sleep’.

13.1 The world is asleep in the three modes and doubt; it passes the night of its life sleeping. 920M3L15

If someone tries to ‘cheat’ and deceive us, we respond by vigorously complaining, protesting and expressing our displeasure. But the surprising thing is that under the influence of the opium of egotism, worldliness that is rooted in ignorance, has created the greatest mental fraud with our being.

The astonishing thing about this greatest ‘personal’ mental fraud is that we

do not know anything about it
are not aware of it

have no knowledge about it
have not protested about it

have not complained about it
have not even expressed our displeasure

and to awaken ourselves from the ‘slumber’ or ‘drowsiness’ of this eternal worldliness or to save ourselves from this ‘greatest fraud’ we

have not thought about it
have no desire for it
have felt no need for it
have not made any effort
have no wish for it!!!

No person is prepared to admit under any circumstances that he or she has ego in him or her. When in fact, day and night, nay every moment, he or she operates and lives in egotism where the ‘me-mine’ state has gained predominance.

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When a person says ‘I have no ego in me’, this is proof enough that egotism has so much permeated and diffused unto his being that he or she has become an ‘embodiment’ of ego. This is why he is unable to feel the presence of ego, or is unable to recognise the existence of ego and he remains engrossed in the ‘fort’ of doubt ridden fallacy of worldliness.

Any person who is a victim of chronic T.B. but does not know about his or her disease, does not see the need to seek a cure for that critical disease.

This is exactly the case of persons who is entrapped in egotism. They are not aware of their own hidden critical disease, they feel no sensation - although they are leading a self inflicted hellish life which is caused by the critical disease of egotism. In fact they appear quite satisfied.

14.1 The five vices have corrupted my mind. Moment by moment, they lead me further away from the Lord. 710Bh.RavL14

14.2 This Maya has made me forget Your feet, O Lord of the World, Master of the Universe. Not even a bit of love wells up in Your humble servant; what can Your poor servant do? 857Bh.KL2

14.3 This is Maya, by which the Lord is forgotten; emotional attachment and love of duality well up. 921M3L2

If a prince gets lost and falls into the hands of a fisherman, the fisherman uses him to do his work and ‘deceives’ the prince into his ‘bonded slavery’ for his own ends. In this way the prince is kept divorced from his ‘royal heritage’. In this way the prince suffers massive and serious fraud.

Although Gurbani, over and over again reminds us of our ‘royal heritage’, (through statements like) ‘O mind, you are part of the divine light, go and discover your roots’. But drugged by the intoxication of egotism, we are declining to a level where we can neither discover nor realise anything and according to Gurbani ‘Entangled and enmeshed, the whole world dies in false deeds and attachments’,
we are trapped, we suffer pain and thus waste away our precious life.

In the above discussion the words - ‘maya’ (worldliness), light, darkness, doubts and fallacies,


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egotism, pitch darkness etc. have been used. They do not refer to any separate entity having its own existence. They are the varied

hues
waves
thoughts
desires
emotions

of the mind.

It has been mentioned earlier that there is a life current- divine light- pervading in the whole of the creation. There is this only one light and that is pure. When this light manifests itself externally through the mind, then with our mind’s varied hues and waves of

thought
emotions
desires
beliefs

the light emerges.

As an example there is only one form of current in electricity, but the colourful light that emerges depends on the multitude of colours and forms of the bulbs.

Gurbani has elaborated on mind’s numerous waves as follows -

15.1 This mind does not hold still, even for an instant Distracted by all sorts of distractions, it wanders around aimlessly in the ten directions. I have found the Perfect Guru, through great good fortune; He has given me the Mantra of the Lord’s Name, and my mind has become quiet and tranquil. 171M4L1

15.2 O mind, you are so full of pride; loaded with pride, you shall depart.
The fascinating Maya has fascinated you, over and over again, and lured you into reincarnation.
Clinging to pride, you shall depart, O foolish mind, and in the end, you shall regret and repent. 441M3L5

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16.1 You are afflicted with the diseases of ego and desire, and you are wasting your life away in vain. 441M3L6

16.2 When the mind is filthy, everything is filthy; by washing the body, the mind is not cleansed.
This world is deluded by doubt; hardly anyone understands this. 558M3L9

16.3 O mother, my mind is out of control.
Night and day, it runs after sin and corruption. How can I restrain it.
He listens to the teachings of the Vedas, the Puraanas and the Simritees, but
he does not enshrine them in his heart, even for an instant.
Engrossed in the wealth and women of others, his life passes away uselessly.
632M9L15

16.4 The mind is churning with so many waves of desire. How can one be emancipated in the Court of the Lord? 1088M3L18


…..CONT. WITH LEKH 10